Oh to be a sea horse

I’ve had enough. The cramp & aching in my hips now prevents me from sleeping longer than an hour at a time, which results in me nearly in tears by 8am – from the pain or lack of sleep I’m not sure.

Everyone jokes that you kiss good bye to sleep once you have a baby & you surprise yourself by how well you can function on so little sleep for so long. What everyone fails to add is that that actually starts before the baby arrives & that you shouldn’t expect to sleep from about 4 or 5 months into your pregnancy.

I’m exhausted. I’ve never functioned well without my sleep & this is like extreme jet lag mixed with some cruel sleep-snatcher who wakes you up every hour. I’m genuinely beginning to wonder how I’ll cope by the time the baby gets here. I’ll be delirious with months of lack of sleep as it is & everyone keeps telling me it only gets worse.

Safe to safe I’m not in a happy place this morning. Especially as Bump’s dad doses happily beside me. [Insert mildly murderous thoughts here.].

I remember learning at school that male sea horses actually carry the pregnancy after a certain point & take care of the birthing bit. I wish we were sea horses. Then Bump’s dad could bear some of the brunt of this for a while for me!


Grease is the word!

Finally Bump is showing an interest in show tunes! I knew persistence & mild brain washing before birth was the key.

This evening Bump kicked for Grease. A good start; a staple for all West End lovers. But definitely room for improvement. Might introduce a few classics – My Fair Lady, Hello Dolly, Show Boat – make sure Bump appreciates the more cultured side of theatre as well, just to be safe.

3 months to go

Suddenly I seem to be hitting all kinds of milestones. Last week it was 100 days to go.

Yesterday it was 3 months until Bump’s due date.

Next week, my Third Trimester begins.

It feels as though someone’s hit fast forward since the 20 week mark. You’re suddenly counting down the weeks instead of counting up. And with Christmas followed by both mine & Bump’s dad’s birthdays & our anniversary in January (can’t believe it’ll be 5 years!) it’s feeling as though Bump’s arrival is going to come around very quickly.

I’ve booked our NCT course this morning. But still feeling as though there’s so much to do. And I’m still really worried Bump will take us by surprise (again) & decide he’s too impatient to wait until February 24th. Please hang in there until the 24th Bump. We need all the time we can get!

Happy News

It’s been a lovely weekend & I couldn’t be happier.

We have an apartment in London waiting for us. We have a moving date (ish… pretty much). We visited Bump’s dad’s family in the country this weekend & started the ball rolling on what possible hand-me-downs there are. (Bump’s dad has a 9 & 6 year old brother & sister & his cousin is expecting baby number 2 in 2 weeks’ time. So there’s quite a bit going – thank heavens!)

It’s official. We’re nearly in full on nesting mode. Just in time for Christmas.

I’m just mega impatient  to move now. I’m fed of waiting. I’m fed up of us in this limbo between his apartment, me at my mom’s. Enough now. I just want our little family to come together & start. Two weeks is too long to wait!


Hi, I’m Amie & I miss caffeine.

It’s been 21 weeks since my last caffeinated drink. I miss tea like a fat kid misses cake. I’m bored of these herbal-wimpy-teas. I’ve tried decaff coffee but find myself left disappointed. It’s not the same. And sad but true, I miss Coke. Nothing compares on a Thursday afternoon, when you’re struggling to make it through to Friday. That cool, fizzy, sweetness on your tongue. There is no alternative.

I fee like a cake without the baking powder, a curry without naan. I’m a flower without rain or the peanut butter without the jam.

‘Take comfort that you’re doing it for a good cause,’ they say. ‘It’ll be worth it in the end,’ they say. I challenge these ‘theys’ to give up full-caff coffee, tea & Coke for near on 9 months (possibly beyond, if I decide to breastfeed – god help me). See how they like it. ‘Take comfort’ my ass. Just when you discover a whole new level of exhaustion you didn’t know could exist you’re forbidden the sweet nectar that is your daily lifeline.

Men have no idea just how much they owe women. They really, really don’t.

100 days to go…

And with such a milestone, comes the age old question – is Bump blue? Or is Bump pink?

I’m convinced Bump is a boy. Have been since day one. Not to mention the small mishap that was our 20 week scan (idiot sonographer). But we still don’t know. And it’s driving Bump’s dad insane.

So what do the Old Wives say?

Boy: carrying all out front. Tick.
Girl: carrying all round.

Boy: you’re blooming in pregnancy.
Girl: you’ve missed the blooming period altogether. *sigh* yes. 

Boy: no morning sickness. I wish!
Girls: head in the toilet.

Boy: you crave salty food or protein. Tick.
Girl: you crave sweet things. Tick. (Though I craved sweet things before. Maybe discount this one…) 

Boy: you combine your age at the time of conception with the number of the month you conceived and the resulting number is even.
Girl: resulting number is odd. 29. 

Boy: your hair is more full-bodied & shiny. Yep. (Though, it was pretty shiny before…)
Girl: lackluster locks

Boy: your leg hair is growing faster than before you were pregnant. No! Win!
Girl: nothing to report.

Boy: your pillow faces North when you sleep.
Girl: your pillow faces South.
errrrrrr…? According to Google maps I face East. Oh god. That can’t be good.

Boy: you were the more aggressive partner during sex when you conceived.
Girl: you were a girl about it.
People clearly didn’t have a lot of sex back in the day so could pin point exactly when they conceived. Or they didn’t have as much on their mind between conception and being asked this so could remember. Either way, let’s leave this one here. 

Boy: You tie your wedding ring to some thread, hang it over your stomach and it swings in circles.
Girl: it moves from side to side.
Awkward… clearly no one else has ever lived in sin…

Boy: you’re less (or no more) moody than usual.
Girl: you’re more moody than usual.
I’m definitely moody. Though that seems a mild way of putting it. Not sure Bump’s dad would say it’s different to usual…

Boy: you’re asked to show your hands and you present them backs up.
Girl: you present them as palms.
Well this is pointless now. Someone should have asked me before I read this.

Which leaves a tally of: 3 for a boy and 4 for a girl. And 5 indefinites. Load of use the Old Wives are! Team Yellow it is.


I’ve had none. It’s so unfair! The one thing I’ve been looking forward to about being pregnant. And it’s passed me by.

I seem to be getting all the negative side effects of this whole affair and none of the fun. All my friends ask with a glint in their eye, ‘what cravings have you had?’. Turns out that cravings aren’t a given.

That being said, I have had some mild moments of madness:

Last Thursday, I craved salt so badly we had to pull over & get me some McDonalds chips. First time in my life I’ve bought just chips. Ashamed? I probably should be, but I was so happy tucking into my large Maccy D’s chips that I simply didn’t care.

However, on Tuesday I had 6 little chocolates & desperately averted my eyes from the bag across the office. This was the second time (in 5 months, hardly a craving) I’d wanted more & more chocolate. Which for someone who even before she was lactose intolerant was never interested in chocolate is a strange concept.

But this to me isn’t cravings. It’s not ‘give-me-fried-pickles-in-chocolate-ice-cream-now-or-die!’. Which is what I was hoping for. Where’s the fun in this if I can’t demand & torment others?

25 weeks

20131111-102404 am.jpgOnly 15 weeks to go. Cue slight panic.

Bump is now about 35cm long. (That’s longer than a standard ruler. The size of a swede… whatever a swede is.) He’s plumping out a little bit, filling out his wrinkly skin. (Thank god. Don’t want no Benjamin Button on our hands!) & apparently, if we could see inside my womb (ew) we could see if he was blond, brunette or ginger. He’ s also now responsive to light & touch.

In short, our littl’un is a proper little person. And he’s not letting me forget it. Bump has really started to move. At Bonfire Night on Saturday he was doing somersaults at the fireworks bangs. (I did feel a little cruel, it has to be said.) And whenever I’m sat still for longer than about 20 mins at a time he starts pitter pattering away.

Bump’s dad started his music education on Saturday. Happy to report there was no movement during John Mayer but Bump seemed to be tapping his feet to the Rolling Stones. So far, sadly, no reaction to Swan Lake or Broadway hits… I’m working on it… there’s still time.

Big Decisions


We’ve been discussing names this weekend. It feels like such a big decision. This poor person will have to live with your choice for the rest of their lives. What if they hate the name you choose? Or you have no taste in names but don’t realise it?

I’m definitely pushing ‘Elmo’ for a boy. He’d have a cheery, educational role model. And there’s a good chance Bump will be ginger, so that would be fitting.

What was it I was saying? Oh yes; so it’s a lot of pressure this naming business…

So, when does the pregnancy glow start? …Please!?

The nausea has returned. With a vengeance.

I suffered from morning sickness in my first trimester, though was lucky compared to many. It would come on late morning and last until around 6pm but was a manageable level most days. I found crisps helped and grapes.

I’m now 24 weeks & 5 days. I started with horrendous heart burn a few weeks ago but Gaviscon helped keep it at bay.That is until this week when the flavour started making me feel a bit sick. Then I spent Wednesday night confined to the bathroom until the wee hours thinking my dinner was to make a second appearance. Half way to work this morning I nearly had to pull over.

They say eating helps with morning sickness. Slight issue, eating brings on the heart burn. So do I eat to reduce the nausea but increase heart burn, which increases nausea anyway? Or not eat, prolonging the nausea but no heart burn? The choices!

Turns out, it’s quite common for morning sickness to resurface in Trimester 3 (which is imminent) especially in women with short torsos. Once the baby really starts to grow, all your organs get pushed up into your ribs, creating less & less room for you. (Thanks a bunch Bump.) But in short women, there’s even less room than in a ‘standard’ sized woman for your stomach. So basically, at a smidge over 5ft tall, looks like I’m screwed.

What happened to this pregnancy glow I hear so much about? It seems to have passed me by. Ba humbug.